Friday, May 4, 2012

Tolson 4 TEARS Cheers Survivor Poem


by Cindilin Pettibone
I hear what you are saying
But are you saying what you mean
 I don’t understand.
You twist your words and misuse them
They were not meant to be used that way
Nor was I; dear ones I loved
 I don’t understand.
Your holding of me that I loved, craved and needed so
Soon became uncomfortable feelings of touch
Isn’t that how it is for all? I believed
 I don’t understand.
You bought me such nice, beautiful things any girl would adore
Clothes, PJ’s, Robe, Purses, Overnight Bag
I had no idea then exactly how I would have to pay for it
But pay I did…dearly
 I don’t understand.
The façade of going to the care races
Only to go to a seedy motel
Duck down he would say,
It’s our little secret
 I don’t understand.
To be told you have to earn that hamburger
If you want to eat
My tummy was so very hungry
 I don’t understand.
You will pick you fun from this card next to it a price
But you must pick from the back—the worst of the worst 
There was nothing I wanted to choose
I was his unwilling little whore
 I don’t understand.
I was supposed to be light, happy, fun and free
Instead I was dark, ugly, fat and scared of life
I will never experience childhood
 I don’t understand.

Art by Cindilin Pettibone

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