Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Tolson 4 TEARS* Reviews "No Tears for my Father: A True Story of Incest"

Review of No Tears for my Father: A True Story of Incest by Viga Boland

No Tears for my Father is a memoir about the abuse of a girl at the hands of her father. At the beginning, the author offers a “trigger warning” to protect those who may experience flashbacks while reading and ruminating over the horrible treatment of a precious child. A true story about incest is bound to be an emotionally charged read.

Viga’s style of story telling is straightforward: she stays with the story in a manner that clearly states the torture she suffered. She writes, "That's the way it happened and that's how it must be told." The content is not veiled by vague metaphors, but is conveyed in concise detail. Viga explores the betrayal and brainwashing she endured via the despicable mind-games and manipulations delivered by her father. He was a narcissistic, dangerous, mean-spirited monster who played on her sympathies with his delusions over his own perceived victimhood. Viga was taught by him to bear the responsibility for his well-being; there was no relief for her, from girlhood to adulthood. Meanwhile, her broken mother offered no safety or security, so her depraved father took everything from Viga, body, mind, and spirit. The reader cannot walk away without an understanding of the evil inherent in incest.

The torment Viga was subjected to was a daily occurrence in her seemingly ordinary childhood houses, from Australia to Canada. Nobody could rescue her from her father’s obsessive control vis a vis unfathomable abuse. No one would estimate the depths of her fear of the man who seemed to be an ordinary neighbor. This illustrates the prevalence of abuse in the privacy of homes.

With pictures, poetry, and prose, Viga Boland exposes her vulnerabilities. The reader may comprehend how difficult it is for a writer to share the worst wounds. Yet there is strength to behold as the story unfolds. Both reader and writer are better for having finished this book because it serves as a genuine gift of hope and healing.

Viga Boland @vintageblogger is active in the advocacy network, sharing her knowledge and experience to help facilitate recovery for those affected by trauma. She's developed videos that offer information about incest and abuse, which can be viewed here 

You can visit COMING OUT FROM UNDER INCEST which Viga Boland developed as "the blog of an incest survivor, designed to encourage other survivors of child sexual abuse to open up & talk about incest." In addition, she has a Facebook page and group page Speak Out From Under.

When you finally come out from under
And absolve yourself of blame
When you cast aside the crippling fears
And rid yourself of shame
As you peel away the layers
To expose the soul below
You will come to love that person
The one you didn't know.
©  Viga Boland 2012

The sequel to No Tears for My Father is Learning to Love Myself, a memoir of rebirth and recovery from abuse. "In keeping silent about the abuse for over 40 years of marriage, Viga indirectly also made her husband a victim of her narcissistic father. Yet her husband stood strong beside her, even after he discovered the truth. That’s true love." The book contains poetry and photos. You can purchase both books here . All printed copies ordered from this site are personally signed and shipped by Viga Boland. Review by Lynn C. Tolson for Learning to Love Myself  is here.


As if this is not enough work, Viga Boland has developed a Facebook group to support others in their stories, along with a printed magazine for memoir writers, available for purchase at her website. You can request to join the group Memoirabilia here.

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