Saturday, July 16, 2016

Tolson 4 TEARS* on Why Write "Beyond the Tears"

*Tolson 4 TEARS: Telling Everyone About Rape & Suicide

The most frequently asked question of me, as an author, is WHY I wrote Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story. Why write such a personal and revealing story?

First I lived it. Then I was numb to it. Then I suppressed it. Then I remembered it. Then I regurgitated it in counseling. Then I examined and felt it. Then I wrote about it.
We are accustomed to keeping our secrets, hiding our flaws, and stuffing our feelings. After all, what will people think of us? The truth is, it took me twenty years to write my story. When I was in my twenties, my therapist told me I had a story to tell that would help others to find hope. However, it was not until my forties, when another therapist offered the same suggestion, that I took it seriously. I wrote what has become Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story, which chronicles my personal counseling sessions. I was motivated to publish because that the problems I discussed in therapy are universal. My desire to encourage others to seek healing became greater than my need to remain private.
Why I Wrote Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story

Why did you decide to write a book? Was it difficult writing about such a personal story?
The book [Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story] began by putting pen to paper in journal writing sessions. Themes emerged regarding the ramifications of sexual abuse, like drug addiction and suicide attempts. Eventually, a story of transformation to wholeness evolved. Journal writing was a cathartic experience. However, writing the book was difficult because I had to find the courage to face my fears: What would others think? What would my family think? But my conviction to tell the truth became greater than the difficulty of writing a personal story. I realized that I was writing about personal yet universal issues. My desire to share a message of healing from trauma became too strong to ignore; the book became my mission despite the difficulty. Sexual assault, addiction, and suicide are unsolved social problems that carry stigmas. The stigmas cast a code of silence that do not solve problems. The result from not speaking about the crime of sexual assault is too often tragic. Thus, there is a need for real stories of recovery. By bringing my dark secrets to light, it is my hope that others who have had similar events will know that they are not alone.


LadyJtalks said...

We all can understand what you went through and I understand now that we get to a point in all this and I ask myself daily "what to do next". I hope one of these days we can talk more.

Anonymous said...

Great video Lynn. Your a natural, you came across very well. So I expect to see more videos in the future. Keep up the great work.

John Harrison UK

Jennifer said...

I rustle with this thought alot as a survivor of many abuses over the years. I have found myself alone and those I try to gain friendship with just blow me off like I'm trash. I just wondered this week why it's even worth it. I was thinking today that I certainly can relate to the beginning of your book (read it awhile back) and just when I'm on the right track, it's like bam there it is again. The triggers are usually rejecting comments of people I thought I trusted. It has a detrimental affect on my husband who mostly doesn't understand. There is a book out there called No Comfort Zone which talks about another's daily struggles through life with PTSD. After such a rejecting comment or gesture by a friend who I thought was a friend, again......I find myself wondering why I even survived. What use am I?
It's comforting to read that someone else has experienced this feeling because most of the world thinks we are rejects.